My Taiwanese Girlfriend on Astrology

"If you point at the moon, your ear will get cut."

My Taiwanese Girlfriend on Health

"If you go outside with wet hair, you will have headaches when you get older."

"If your eyes have problems, you need to look more green things."
-But what if you're colorblind?

"I have asthma, so I can only eat ice cream on really hot days."

My Taiwanese Girlfriend on Toothaches

"Your tooth hurts because it's summer. Hot weather, tooth just like this."

-In response to my wondering why the tooth I got filled two months ago has hurt ever since.

My Taiwanese Girlfriend on Height

"I used to jump rope a lot when I was a kid, that's why I'm tall."

-She's about 5' 4".

"Of course jumping makes you taller, look at basketball players."

-She's too young to kow about Spud Webb

Introduction

After living in Taiwan for over four years I've become aware of some "interesting" beliefs that a lot of Taiwanese people share, mostly through through things my Taiwanese girlfriend says. I'm not trying to put down Taiwanese people in any way, and I already know that every culture has its own superstitions that others might see as silly or stupid, so I don't want to hear a bunch of crying or accusations of me being racist.

I'm sorry if the title of this blog comes off as being mean, I guess I have a dry sense of humor. It is actually just a take off on the blog "Stupid Shit My Dad Says" as my O blood type predisposes me to a lack of creativity. Of course, I could have named this blog "Culturally Unique Things My Racially Anonymous Girlfriend Says" or "Things My Dumbass Foreign Boyfriend Is Too Stupid To See Are Obviously True" but the domain names for those blogs were already taken. These are just some of the pearls of wisdom and ancient Chinese secrets that keep me entertained.